I'm finding it to be a very tumultuous time right now. The painting above is the first thing I have managed to complete in about a month. My mind is like that cluttered closet that you open...and shit falls out everywhere...Flustered? Yes, I guess that would be a perfect word to discribe my state of mind. And so I felt a little venting would be in good order...although to be honest, I'm not a very good venter...sort of soft-core if you will. It all comes back to believing that I've got no business being in this place, when there are so many others with bigger problems.
Speaking of problems...I've just started this great book, How to See Yourself As You Really Are, by the Dalai Lama.(Because after finishing a sweeping epic like Marley & Me, it's naturally the next thing on one's reading list.) Right off the bat...in the introduction, he got me. He speaks of how if we approach our problems with humanity...with love and compassion, the problem will cease to exist. If we face our problems with anger,or hurt we are just adding more problems on top the original situation. Someone very close to me is walking through a very difficult situation right now...the kind of situation where one doesn't usually find a whole lot of compassion for your fellow man. She knows we love her, and are willing help however we can... so there isn't a whole lot more I can do about it right now.
Then there is just the matter that I feel out of control. I can't seem to concentrate very well...I need to make a plan for my future. What do I want to do with my art..? What do I want to do with my yoga teaching? So far what I've come up with is a name...(Rising Lotus),and the idea to teach evenings art/yoga to children, and just yoga to adults. I would like to get my art out into galleries(I think!)...I don't know. See what I mean?
I just feel like casting all this disorder aside...and running...through the green grass and flipping a few cartwheels...or diving into the deep blue sea and becoming a sea goddess. Hmmm...I wonder if they ever have to deal with this stuff?