Thursday, May 22, 2008

~Befuddled~

Isolda's Search...16x20 Acrylic(click to enlarge)


I sat down at my computer tonight, and 'befuddled' was the first word that popped into my head. This is totally how I've been feeling the past few days...my mind feels like a disorganized...overstuffed closet. There's some really good stuff hiding in the back though...I just need to root through everything.

First...there is the painting that you see above. I have struggled, and struggled to complete her all month. This is a special piece that I was asked to do for a charity auction. I was so honoured to be asked...but almost as soon as I went to work on it I heard those harsh little whispers...Why are you bothering? Who do you think would bid on this piece of crap? Thankfully, I am a little wiser...I am able to push the whispers aside, and sing out words of kindness.Somedays I would just stare at the canvas...I changed the colour palette three times...I have loved it, I have hated it...I have completed it! Tomorrow I will happily hand her over, and let it go. I find everytime I go through this process, it gets easier, and easier.I know someday those whispers will not come!

Having a horrible cold, and non-stop rain for the past three days...and three more days forecasted doesn't do much for one's spirits either...

There are other things that are going on too...I can't really talk about here, but I'll just say...I am beyond thankful to have the husband, and children that I do.

I'm just having a little vent...and I feel kind of silly doing it, but in a good way?:)

Let's just say I'm looking forward to tomorrow...rain and all!

xo

4 comments:

Jaime said...

Oh Celeste, I'm so glad you were able to push those self defeating thoughts to the curb...your work is so beautiful!
And to be able to let a piece go, with love, after you have worked so hard. That is an amazing thing.

Who knows what inspiration might come from the rain today?

Lots of love
xo

daisies said...

you are so talented and am also glad you were able to stop your gremlins from getting in your way :)

and today is sunny even though the next couple days will be rainy, i love the rain, sitting inside listening to it fall like sparkle drops into the earth, feeding her growth :) xo

Dandelion seeds said...

she's beautiful and some lucky auctioneer is going to be very lucky to take her home.

julochka said...

venting is good, it clears things out, especially moments of self-doubt, tho' it sounds like it wasn't that hard for you to do that. the painting is lovely and there will surely be many bids on it!

hope it's stopped raining now..i know that feeling, it rained here in denmark all day yesterday. but, the sun always comes again.

:-)
/julie